The HECK is this noise?

[Garemie]

seal bad
seal pit rim damaged by wrong pry out method, now leaks there , pump seal pit rim damaged.
or pump gasket leaks,
or top front pan leaks.
unless its the cam seal leaking down there, fooling everyone as it can so easy

one way to find it is run engine with cover off, belt.
see what it really is, even use the oil dye kit and lamp to find it.
leaks are not easy to find here ,all covered up with that plastic cover.

good luck !!!

Replaced the crank seal as per your instructions.

Oil no longer dripping 1 drop per second. I've only had it idling in the driveway so far but it idled for 15 minutes with no visible leaks.

[fixkick]

Another question... It looks like the front crankshaft seal is leaking like crazy, this is not new, but it's time to take care of it.

i was responding to the above.
but oil can get in to other things here, harnesses and such and leak for weeks. after fixing all leaks.

im sure you did it right. but some times damage is there , unseen , from before you owned it.